Productivity? What's that?

[mdlbear]

I've actually been fairly productive the last few days. If I'd been this productive two months ago, around the end of March, I'd have my FSA receipts all sorted, the Consonance concerts all up on the web, and be feeling a lot less panicked and harried and depressed.

There's a receipt that I know was on my desk, where I needed it. It's not there now. There's a phone call I should have made 12 hours ago; it's too late now.

As it is, I'm feeling frustrated, panicked, defeated, worthless, and hopeless. Also, paradoxically, bored and restless. I can't focus, can't concentrate, can't sit still, can't relax. Which is not helping.

Knowing that it's some combination of burnout and depression, and that depression lies, doesn't help either. Neither did taking a walk this afternoon, except maybe temporarily.

Comments

[mdlbear]

I use "out of cope" too; I've been using it a lot this year.

So far the only caregiver support group I've seen at Kaiser seems from its description to be aimed at caregivers of Alzheimer's patients; it's possible that there's another one, or that the group is less specific than its description. I also didn't look past the description to find out the time -- a lot of groups aimed at old people are during the work day.

The other groups I've found in my area, via Google Maps, seem to be either oriented toward specific diseases, or associated with churches. I'll admit I haven't gone through all 1500+ links, though, only the most relevant hundred or so.

I will ask my therapist on Wednesday; perhaps there is something. But so far the help I've gotten via Kaiser has been minimal, and I got nothing at all from the social worker at the nursing home. Or from any social worker I've ever met, for that matter. Maybe I just don't know what to ask for -- there doesn't seem to be a user's manual for these people.

I am becoming cynical and depressed; I should stop now. As I said, I'll try on Wednesday.