Done yesterday (20090821)

[mdlbear]

0821 Fr
  & awake for about an hour at 3:30
  * up 8ish; drugs.
    Seem to be ok without nose-watering; we'll see how that lasts
  & Breakfast with the kids, later Callie
  | noticed that I was smiling!
    nb. not that I was happy, but that I was smiling.
  & Morning errands and lunch with Callie
  & Called Colleen - she could hear a smile in my voice
  & Noodling and singing for Naomi.  There's a reason why I need my lyrics.
  = Successfully reframed a "should have (done X)" statement into a "could
    have done X if I'd thought of it at the time" statement.  (See next
    Monday's to.done.)  Go me!
  & put new verse (Pandora) into the publicly-accessible copy of QV
  & Call from Mark!(?) 917-912-6181
  & Music and conversation with Callie and Naomi
  & Hot tub with N
  * Middle-Sized Bear time with Naomi
  * bed ~midnight

A very good day. Relaxing. Tagged along with Callie while she ran errands, hung out with Naomi and noodled away on guitar, helping her relax while doing stressful work. Sang her QV with the new verse (Pandora) as well-earned congratulations on getting through a couple of weeks of hell. Music and conversation, and getting parboiled in the hot tub. Yeah, a good day.

Two major (to me) steps along the river. The first was that I actually noticed that I was smiling, and when I called Colleen she said she could hear the smile in my voice. Note: I didn't notice that I was happy, I noticed that I was smiling. Happiness was an inference.

The other was rephrasing a statement that "I should have (done X)" to read "I could have (done X) if I'd thought of it at the time." That goes along with the "I should stop shoulding myself" project, and means that I actually am more aware of what I'm saying to myself.

Naomi and I sang "There Is a Healing In This Night" in the hot tub with me, and afterward we sang her braided Tempered Glass arrangement with Callie.

The day ended with some Middle-Sized Bear time, Naomi and I taking turns leaning on one another's shoulders. I am loved. The only thing that could have made it better would have been having Colleen along. Next time.

Comments

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

Bravo for the new verse, bravo for the smiling and the awareness of it, bravo for the change of could've to should've. Bravo and hugs.

[tetralizard.livejournal.com]

Maybe there is something in the air because thursday and friday I was smiling and happy as well. I was actually ok with myself and talking to my body my saying I will not let this pain I have overcome me. We will see how long this lasts.

[johno.livejournal.com]

"Singing" in the Hot Tub....

Yeah, right. {grin}

[mdlbear]

Yes, singing.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Sheesh... I stop paying attention to LiveJournal for a day or two because I got heat exhaustion, and what happens? You post a link to a song of yours that makes me cry!

Yes, I know all of those stories, and at least a couple of them are mine as well. But I think it needs a verse about a man and woman (or two men, or two women - it really doesn't make any difference) who walk hand in hand, side by side, heads held high, into a terrifying future, because there's no other direction left to go except forward. ("When you're going through hell, keep going," and/or "The only way out is through.")

(I've been reading, but not commenting, while I've been busy with legal nonsense, but that's finally done (http://acelightning.livejournal.com/118560.html).)

[mdlbear]

Two women, probably. I owe pocketnaomi another verse.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

The image in my mind was of two people who'd been together a very long time, always side by side as equals (that part's especially important), who saw everything they'd worked together to achieve collapse like a popped soap bubble, through no fault of their own, leaving prospects of further calamity the only future they could see... and marching forward into that anyway, with a bad pun on their lips. (Hey, it's a filksong, there's got to be at least one bad pun to make it official!)