mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
[personal profile] mdlbear

Colleen died four weeks ago tomorrow. Her memorial gathering (I don't think one can accurately call it a "service"; we just called it a "memorial") was Tuesday; our daughter E organized it, and it was a Good Thing. Exactly what Colleen would have wanted -- her friends sitting around telling stories and occasionally singing. I put up the memorial web page on Thursday; if you missed the memorial you can find a link there to the zoom recording of the first, "formal" part, which includes a few songs. I'm going to add to it over the next couple of weeks.

We brought her ashes home Thursday as well. I still need to put a picture of the urn on the memorial page -- it's purple with silver flowers. Of course.

And somehow I have to get back to the the tech-writing project I took on several months ago. My motivation is kind of shot to hell right now, not that there's ever been very much of it. I tell people that I'm doing better than I expected, but given how little insight I have into my emotions, I don't think that's particularly informative. Even to me.

Notes & links:
0801Su
  & Up 4:44; S=5:48, W=195.8; shower
    % woke up trying to think of various ways to obfuscate a mostly-numeric  passphrase,
      to let someone to recover the password file if I die.
  # when did I change "Fifteen years" to "Half our lives" in "Eyes Like the Morning" ?
    git bisect new;  git bisect old 8a4a38ebf45ba4d5e84149e9c30515b6abb8208e
    git bisect run grep Fifteen eyes.flk
    -> 16c21cb362dfceddcc43220659203ee7d6796d49 is the first new commit
    git l -n1 16c21cb362dfceddcc43220659203ee7d6796d49
    -> 16c21cb (HEAD, refs/bisect/new) assorted corrections and updates [2000-12-24]
  * massage chairs
  * 15min: rummaging around in garage.  Actually more like an hour; -> low blood sugar
  * 15min: disassemble 2' wire shelf unit.
  * 15min: order kibble -- will be here tomorrow, so no need to go out for it
  * 15min: put most of the kept-ouut artwork in a bin
  * take down memorabilia boxes in mbr closet; sort or at least look at.
    -> scan cheshire cat nametag, turbo-snail snapshot
  * load drugs
  * laundry
  x scan some of our wedding photos.  Look for the box(es?) of family photos
    
0802Mo
  * up 6ish; BP=122/72, P=65 (Walgreens 113/80 64), p=3.5; exercises, heat
  * singing: Eyes Like the Morning, The River
  * bring down some of Colleen's Trazadone for m
  * pack "How to Carry what Can't be Fixed"
  * leaving ~11am
  * set up mics, interface, external monitor.  Test rig.
  # A second laptop would be really useful right now.  One to keep in the studio
  % I've had the beginning of tears all evening.  No actual tears, just moisture.
  * finished (first pass through) "How to Carry..."
  % 9:40 -> heat
  % out to lair.  Spent some time waffling about what to take; finally loaded up the
    suitcase.  Should have taken the yukata or bathrobe
    -> the door was open; that's going to require work if I want to have the cats here
    -> and the CPAP mask, which tested fine on Whidbey, is noisy now.  WTAF? humidifier?
    -> not clear there's room for two catboxes
  % ... and didn't write a "state of the bear" post today for 3rd week.  Maybe tomorrow.

0803Tu
  * up 5:50; S=6:43; exercises
  : WiFi is flaky in the lair
  % nice long talk with N about our memories of Colleen
  * 3pm Colleen's Memorial on Zoom
    * Singing: Eyes Like the Morning, The River.  Summer sang Bells of Norwich.
      Lynn Gold screen-shared Stan Rogers singing "The Mary Ellen Carter"
      m provided backing vocals on The River
    -> Just the thing Colleen would have wanted -- all her friends sitting around telling
       stories and singing.
    -> My video was really unstable; looks like I was connected to the wrong access point
    -> A little way into it I got the call from a woman at the Neptune Society saying that
       her ashes were ready to come home.  I mentioned it in the chat.  Thursday.
  @ Cats Are So Not Appreciated. Think Again. - The New York Times cat genetics
    A new domestic cat genome assembly based on long sequence reads empowers feline
    genomic medicine and identifies a novel gene for dwarfism
  % I should go to bed.  Unzipped everything in my download directory instead of
    everything in the Colleen subdirectory.  Growf.

0804We Ame
  * up 5:30ish; S=5.9; exercises, heat
  @ She exposed how Facebook enabled global political manipulation. Now she's telling her
    story. | MIT Technology Review 
  @ Release Notes for siduction 2021.2.0 – siduction Linux
  * posted mdlbear | Memoir: Fifty years together

0805
  * up 5:30ish; S=6:57; exercises
  @ The Insecurity Industry - by Edward Snowden - Continuing Ed ([LWN.net])
    " Even if we woke up tomorrow and the NSO Group and all of its private-sector ilk had
      been wiped out by the eruption of a particularly public-minded volcano, it wouldn't
      change the fact that we're in the midst of the greatest crisis of computer security
      in computer history. "
      Revealed: leak uncovers global abuse of cyber-surveillance weapon | Guardian 
  @ De-anonymization Story - Schneier on Security  ([LWN.net])
    " Location data is not anonymous. It cannot be made anonymous. "
  * 8ish G leaves for CA
  * 9:15ish leave with N (and urn) for...
  * 10am Neptune Society 4320 196th Street SW, Suite C, Lynnwood, WA 98036
    -> they (Shannon?) transferred the ashes into the urn for us.  Probably do it all the
       time.  Brought back the urn and the death certs in a lovely purple "shopping" bag.
    -> she's now residing in the family shrine at RS between two Ganeshas; I'll bring her
       up to Whidbey tomorrow.  After that she'll probably come back.  Or commute.
  * clean up after unzipping Downloads/*.zip
    unzip -l Art_of_the_Poster_1880-1918.zip | cut -c 31- > foo;
      for f in `cat foo`; do if [ -f $f ]; then rm $f; fi done
  @ What it means when 75 percent of COVID-19 cases occur in vaccinated people. (minoanmiss)
  * put up (somewhat WIP) Rainbow Bridge: Karen Colleen Savitzky 1952-03-16 -- 2021-07-12 memorial page
    % spent basically all day writing, which I haven't done in a long time.

0806Fr  1991 WWW 30 years, 1945 Hiroshima 76 years
  * up 5:45; S=5:57;
  @ August 6 - Wikipedia
    " 1991 – Tim Berners-Lee releases files describing his idea for the World Wide
      Web. WWW makes its first appearance as a publicly available service on the
      Internet. "
  @ The World Wide Web project  WWW Project History
  * bring suitcase, CPAP, etc. in from lair.  Suitcase -> Molly after removing CPAP, dop
  % 9am having trouble with motivation, now that I've put up the memorial page.  Even
    though it's not finished -- don't want to tackle that right now.
  # discussion with N of how to manage cats in the studio -- litter box in shower stall.
    still have to find a good barrier for the door
  * 11am Healing Center intake appointment with w/ Sonja Whitaker.  j's room for privacy
    donate at www.healingcenterseattle.org/give
  * Set myself up as Colleen's Inactive Account Manager for her Google Account
  ~ leave massage chairs in Molly because no callback -> brought in; picked up~6pm
  * take urn up
  % meloxicam 10ish with pm drugs
  : Cards from:  Ellen Barr, (Candace Gjertsen, Jhenya Hart, Danielle, and Austin)
    package of smoked salmon from (Lynn Gold, Warren, Diana Koivunen, and Grace the Bichon)
      (box got recycled before I realized that I should have saved the return address)
    last week, cards from:  Tom Gryn, Alice Robbins
  @ BayCon : BayCon has lost a friend today | Facebook (Michael Silady)

0807Sa
  & Awake 4:55; S=6:18; heat
  * up 7:45; S=8:03, BP=123/75, P=57, heat, shower
    % remarkably little back pain this morning (at least after heating pad) 
  * put silver-and-opal necklace around neck of urn (unless E particularly wants it)
  * sl: diclofenac (Voltaren) topical gel
  * 6 bagels.  Get another dozen on the way south.
  @ Two Million Dehumidifiers With Well-Known Brand Names Recalled Due to Fire and Burn
    Hazards; Manufactured by New Widetech | CPSC.gov
    Dehumidifier Recall Summary_News | New Widetech Industries mine is by
    hOmeLabs and not subject to the recall.
  @ Alt-Right Coloradans Went to War with an Alpaca Farm — And the Farm Won
    " For nearly nine months, Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, a safe haven for trans and queer
      Coloradans, faced violent threats from right-wing extremists. Until, that is, they
      turned to their local anarchists for help. "
  / $140 for Colleen's ambulence ride from UW Hospital to Prestige Edmonds.
  / disassemble Colleen's transfer pole and trapeze.
  / Remove cord and controls for electric blanket
  % meloxicam 9:40 with pm drugs
  : Mystery solved:  the noisy CPAP mask is caused by not having the humidifdier!  Weird.
    -> see whether it's quieter with a larger-diameter hose

Date: 2021-08-08 08:26 pm (UTC)
ellenmillion: Man with child getting a hug (hug)
From: [personal profile] ellenmillion
In case no one has told you, you don't have to get anything done right now. Don't add guilt to your burden of grief. *hugs*

Date: 2021-08-09 06:24 am (UTC)
archangelbeth: Sad female face, with horns. (Sad Eyes)
From: [personal profile] archangelbeth
Oh, blast, I've been off-DW for...that long. I'm so sorry.

Date: 2021-08-09 08:44 pm (UTC)
lemon_badgeress: basket of lemons, with one cut lemon being decorative (Default)
From: [personal profile] lemon_badgeress
i’ve been off dreamwidth for the pandemic. my deepest sympathy.

Date: 2021-08-10 10:21 am (UTC)
freyjaw: (moon)
From: [personal profile] freyjaw
Hang in there. You are very loved as well.

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