River: Colleen: Two Years Later
2023-07-12 02:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mdlbearColleen died two years ago today. Some people say that the second year can be as hard as the first (in different ways). I wouldn't know. I've never been much good at tracking my moods. Also my memory is unreliable. So...
...So I've survived another year without my best friend of fifty years, learning to step around the gaping hole in my life. (That's a metaphor that's come up a couple of times in one of my support groups -- the hole never goes away, you just get better at not falling into it.) On the whole think I'm doing as well as can be expected. Or as well as I can expect, meaning I'm not noticeably more dysthymic than remember being before. See above about moods and memory.
Colleen was the one who kept track of all our friends, and stayed in touch with everyone. Our kids are doing some of that, but I'm mostly out of the loop now. Most of my social life is on Discord and the occasional convention, but it works. I miss going to Sunday brunch with Colleen, and the long drives we often did afterward. Our favorite brunch place, Charmers, succumbed to COVID, but I keep driving past its replacement, and another restaurant that we meant to try but never did. Oh, well. Too late now for a lot of things.
I feel as though I ought to have more to say. Maybe later.
no subject
Date: 2023-07-12 11:06 pm (UTC)Things were just not working out to get up there for "House Con".
I REALLY wanted to see her ONE MORE TIME, and things just didnt work out.
Please remember that you are not the only one trying not to fall into that gaping hole.
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Date: 2023-07-13 01:27 am (UTC)Thanks! I know. Colleen was mama to a lot of people. hugs
Warning: sometimes the hole moves
Date: 2023-07-12 11:29 pm (UTC)Re: Warning: sometimes the hole moves
Date: 2023-07-13 01:30 am (UTC)Yup. And sometimes it's always trying to get underfoot, like a cat.
My sympathy.
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Date: 2023-07-12 11:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-13 01:31 am (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2023-07-13 02:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-13 04:01 am (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2023-07-13 01:05 pm (UTC)4.5 years since my dad passed away, and I'm mostly okay now. Or perhaps my worries about my mother's health are more pressing on my mind these days. She has a hip problem which is giving her lots of pain and slowing her down. I have to remind myself that the distraction is why she occasionally forgets things. Still, she is now officially done with breast cancer follow-up care, just screenings every three years. So it could be a lot worse. In all other ways, we're both hale and hearty.
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Date: 2023-07-14 03:27 pm (UTC)My sympathy for your loss. My dad died in 1999 and I still occasionally want to call him to talk about some cool computer thing.
Congrats on your mom beating breast cancer. My mom survived her second BC surgery for 33 years. And sympathy for her hip trouble.
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Date: 2023-07-13 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-13 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-13 11:41 pm (UTC)Thanks. hugs