Done Since 2023-10-15

[mdlbear]

It may mean something that my soundtrack for the week has been "Everybody's Moon" -- but I have no idea what. And regret over missing today's Columbae reunion in California may have displaced much of the anxiety I would expect to have been feeling over my prostate diagnosis. (I note that my distress over that seems to have peaked sometime around Friday morning; that may be due to resignation. I also note that not feeling anxious about something that could very well eventually kill me is very unusual for me; it may be a case of dissociation. Or maybe just denial.) (And I may be, arguably, less anxious than I should be.)

It's possible that what's getting me through this is my fascination with the diagnostic procedures, both researching them and talking about them. An advantage of neurodiversity, perhaps. And getting a handle on the reunion debacle also helps. Whatever it is, I'm not going to complain too much. Nor am I going to complain about having a lot less pain from the foley catheter -- that problem was fixed by finally figuring out the right way (or at least a good way) to stabilize it.

These images, from a series called "Trees at Night", are absolutely gorgeous. So is this dance. The wind phone is brilliant. “This phone will never ring. It is connected by love to nowhere and everywhere. It is for those who have an empty place in their heart left by a loved one. Say hello, say goodbye. Talk of the past, the present, the future. The wind phone will carry your message.”

Notes & links:
1015Su
  & awake 4ish; S=4:22; headache, no fever or other symptoms; down 5:40
    % don't know what I was dreaming about, but lying in bed after waking up I was
      thinking about how I encrypt secrets.   oooooooooooooooookay then
  % 04:47 2 tabs 400mg ibuprofen for headache (<= 6/24h so next dose after noon)
  & awake 7:30 (alarm)
  * up 8ish; S=7:04; bed exercises, shower; bag change with stabilizer change
    the ViDava stabiliers really suck, though.
  @ Should you pick Novavax’s COVID-19 shot over mRNA options? | Science | AAAS
    " roughly comparable to how the mRNA vaccines have performed... "
  * 15min:  apply plates to g"'s car.
  * SL: RE: alcohol preps; actual food, distilled water
  @ Trees at Night: Stunning Rorschach Silhouettes from the 1920s – The Marginalian
  @ Rite Aid files for bankruptcy as liabilities pile up | The Seattle Times
    " ...  as it looks to restructure debts, including opioid liabilities. "
    Rite Aid files for bankruptcy amid slowing sales, opioid litigation
  * laundry.  Unnecessary -- could have saved it until I got home
    % "home" is a somewhat complicated concept right now, I think
  % itching, esp. right arm tonight, is driving me crazy.  (ok, only a short walk)
  * guitar:  Desolation Row, Bad Guys.  Snuggles.
  @ Everybody's Moon with lyrics - Howard Kranz - YouTube because mood
  & cancelled previous ChargeASAP order (pending since April); ordered 100W travel charger

1016Mo  * litter boxen
  * up 7:30; S=5:14; bed exercises,
    % spent a _lot_ of time dithering over whether to take a shower.  Didn't.
  @ The best BBC iPlayer VPN 2023 | TechRadar
    The best BBC iPlayer VPN in 2023 | Tom's Guide
  * CPAP:  RE:  nosepiece, filter change -- good until Nov. 15
  % catheter change:  couldn't make the Centurion (silicone) stabilizer work; used just
    the thigh strap, which seems to work pretty well by itself
  : UW's portal (eCare)'s questionaire page is broken. (confirmed on chromium)
    -> works in private browsing window
  * load drugs

1017Tu
  & awake 4:15; S=4:44; very dry
    -> turned humidifier down to 2, tube to 1; fought with device
  * up 7:30; S=6:33; cat cuddle
  @ Chinese Hearing Impaired Dancers--Thousand Hand Bodhisattva - YouTube
    Thousand-Hand Bodhisattva | CCTV English - YouTube
  * sign closing docs
  * set up alarms for tomorrow
  ~ catheter should be changed around now (2 weeks from insertion on 10/03
  @ Everything You Need to Know About Medicare Overseas
  @ You Can Now Read the Whole Earth Catalog Online
    Whole Earth Index
  % Did nothing all day (except worry.  Always time for that.)
  % 8ish cold 
  % got all ready for bed before realizing that I'd left my goddamn phone in the house
  * applied one of the new catheter stabilizers (unbranded Chinese)

1018We
  & awake 5ish; cat cuddle; did not go back to sleep
  * up 6:30; S=6:49, BP=121/76, P=73, p=1.5; bed exercises
    % the new cath. stabilizer seems to work very well.  p~=1.5.  mild itch-like
  @ Six Months Ago NPR Left Twitter. The Effects Have Been Negligible - Nieman Reports
    " The numbers confirm what many of us have long suspected — that Twitter wasn’t worth
      the effort, at least in terms of traffic "
  @ Death
    to Spreadsheets. While the debate rages about a… | by Keith McNulty | Oct, 2023
  * take a moldex mask for the wait; sonovia for the procedure.  TAKE PHONE!!
    -> FORGOT CANE!  also hankerchief etc.
  * 09:45 (45min) leave for 10:30 appt. at Harborview via Lyft
  * 10:30 checkin for 11am bone scan harborview,  ->
    https://healthonline.washington.edu/sites/default/files/record_pdfs/Bone-Scan_a11y.pdf
    Bone scintigraphy
    *- 206-744-3105 verified that bag is okay;
    -* injection ~10:20 -- very fast and easy.  syringe came wrapped in a lead sheet
    x- ask about "drink lots of fluids" before scan -> just said "empty your bladder"
    -* return 2pm for the actual scan.  Takes an hour -> 45 minutes.
    % despite a couple of twinges, I did _not_ end up with a QL spasm
    -> results should show up later today or tomorrow
  : sable works with the USB-C charger -- it charges just barely fast enough to keep ahead
    of power use when its running; full speed when it's asleep.
  * 15:40 told the kids (j, k, and m) about the situation so far.
    -> Need to tell g" and s' while I'm up on the island this weekend
  @ The Uncertain Future of Bandcamp – ~ajroach42.com.
    Aural Isle:  federated, open source, AGPL licensed bandcamp alternative 

1019Th
  & awake 5:30ish; extremely dry mouth, but still some water in the humidifier.  Weird.
  * up 6:15ish; S=6:32, BP=111/70 P=66; bed exercises, Dutch
  @ Spacewar! - Wikipedia
    featured artiicle on the Wikipedia home page today
  : duolingo crashed again.  It does that every few days.  Blarg.
  @ How Do Musicians Make Money in 2022? | Two Story Melody
  @ How Kagi finally let me lay Google Search to rest | Dann Berg (andrewducker)
  @ New pill helps COVID smell and taste loss fade quickly
  @ World may have crossed solar power ‘tipping point’ - News (siliconshaman)
    " The study, based on a data-driven model of technology and economics, finds that
      solar PV (photovoltaics) is likely to become the dominant power source before 2050
        However, it warns four “barriers” could hamper this: creation of stable power
      grids, financing solar in developing economies, capacity of supply chains, and
      political resistance from regions that lose jobs. "
    report: The momentum of the solar energy transition | Nature Communications
  : Results from yesterday's bone scan are encouraging, though not definitive.
    " no definite scintigraphic evidence of osseous metastases. "
  @ A ‘Godfather of AI’ Calls for an Organization to Defend Humanity | WIRED 
  * request dumpster  -> 1113Mo  $1K prepayment
    ! accomplished.  Went very smoothly; friendly CS rep
  * working on Columbae email -- tough going.  I'll have to finish it in the morning.
  % forgot my phone, as usual, and had to go back for it.  Discovered when I took my dress
    off that I'd put it on over my nightshirt this morning.  My mind is going,,,

1020Fr  * litter boxen (E')
  & awake 2:00ish; S=3:33; very dry mouth and throat.  Feeling hot.  T=97.9
  % going to OVFF instead of Columbae was absolutely the wrong decision.  Again.
    OTGH I might not be able to find all the paperwork I need for closing.
  * up 8:30ish; S=7:54; bed exercises, Dutch
  * order cat fud
  # ... and for some reason never got around to doing a save on Panther.  Growf.
    -> Was -probably- distracted.  easily fixed, of course.
  : received docusign Opening Letter, Escrow Instructions, and Seller Information Sheet.
  * on-island 6:20ish
  % 19:21 sleepy/tired...
  % 20:07 I really want to soak in a hot bath, but with the catheter I mustn't do that
  % 23:44 fell asleep in recliner

1021Sa
  & 0:30ish woke up in recliner, no mask
  * awake 7:30; 
  * up 8ish; S=7:06, W=190; bed exercises, shower, Dutch
  @ ‘Snatch’ Ransom Group Exposes Visitor IP Addresses – Krebs on Security
    " Snatch is one of several ransomware groups using paid ads on Google.com to trick
      people into installing malware disguised as popular free software, such as Microsoft
      Teams, Adobe Reader, Mozilla Thunderbird, and Discord. "
  @ Connected by love: In Ridgefield, an old rotary phone helps people cope with grief
    " The phone in Ridgefield is attached to a wooden post with a little roof, at the end
      of a gravel path. There’s a bench next to it. A plaque above it reads: “This phone
      will never ring. It is connected by love to nowhere and everywhere. It is for those
      who have an empty place in their heart left by a loved one. Say hello, say
      goodbye. Talk of the past, the present, the future. The wind phone will carry your
      message.” " -- such a cool idea!
  ? Weird:  $95 to ASPCA on Aug 29.  WTF?
  % 14:25 changed cath. stabilizer, which was coming off.  Probably doing it wrong
  @ The Light At The End Of The Frog Ursula Vernon's Hugo acceptance speech
  @ A case for the polycrisis, explained - Vox
  * email to Columbae reunion mailing list.  Will be turned into a River post eventually
  @ Pfizer is more than doubling the cost of COVID drug Paxlovid to $1,390 per course
  % 19:33 back dicey to the point where I can't deal with sorting anything on the floor
  @ PCF | Prostate Cancer Foundation
    -> patient guide (emailed PDF) is pretty comprehensive.
  @ How to escape climate apathy | Psyche Guides maybe

Comments

[freyjaw]

There are basically two types of prostate cancer: slow v. fast growing. The former is much more common. Have they said which type you have?

[mdlbear]

Not officially but the biopsy came back with a top Gleason score of 8 (4+4) out of a possible 10, which is considered "high risk". So best to assume it's fast.