mdlbear | The state of things (Reply)

I listened to the album twice today -- once in the car, and once on my computer at work (through both headphones and a set of cheap earbuds). It's sounding ok. Levels are pretty good. Nothing that sends me out of the room screaming. I'll do a couple more checks tomorrow.

The artwork's going slower than I'd like, but it's my own damned stupid fault. It should be heading out to Oasis by the end of the month, I think. With luck, I might have some disks in hand by ConChord.

Just as that's starting to come together, though, other things seem to be unraveling. I seem to be almost totally incapable of communicating, especially with my family. Don't know how to fix it. I have to speak slowly and carefully when I'm stressed, and it drives people crazy, so they interrupt me, so I get more stressed and distracted, and it's a feedback loop that I don't know how to get out of.

My ancient brain is probably turning to mush. Certainly my ears are: the tinnitus tells me that my hair cells are dying; I'll probably need a hearing aid in a couple of years. I constantly feel like I'm not getting anything done. And I'm not, except for reading and posting in LJ, which isn't exactly anything.

People not much older than me -- younger in some cases -- are getting seriously ill or dying. I can't count on my body or my brain to keep functioning as long as I need them to.

My oldest daughter is going to Canada tomorrow to visit her fiance. I don't think I'm as worried as her mother is, but I'm worried enough. Hopefully everything will go ok.

I should probably go to bed before I get even more ose.

Thanks for listening.