Learning

[mdlbear]

There was a gentle rain early this morning; when I went outside the air was washed clean and sunlight was sparkling on the lingering raindrops. It felt remarkably appropriate.

I have learned many things over the last, oh, 36 hours. Here, in no particular order, are some of them:

• "Never let the sun set on your anger" is good advice. So is "never go to bed with your anger." I'll settle for "never go to sleep with your anger" -- that works, too. I know damned well who I'd rather sleep with.
• Some things are better than sex. Long, close cuddles and deep, loving conversation are in that set. Especially when combined.
• I can still cry from missing my Dad.
• There are many things to value in a relationship, and peoples' ranking of them can differ. Love, loyalty, passion, honesty... Friendship, understanding, and working through problems are high on my list. Anyone have a good single word for that last one? It may be the most important for me.
• You get higher social security payments if you keep working until you're 70. Not that I have much choice.
• A long-term intense relationship, whether physical or platonic, is time-consuming. I need to manage my time and my priorities better.

Comments

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

working through problems as a single word?

"Negotiation" maybe?

[mdlbear]

That feels different to me: it implies finding a compromise between two starting positions.

I mean coming to a shared understanding of what the problem is, and going from there to a solution. The solution may involve negotiating a compromise, but in other cases (this one included) it's so obvious in retrospect that it can be adopted by consensus as soon as someone points it out.

[min0taur.livejournal.com]

I like to think human beings get closer to the wisdom of a spirit as we go. Your care and mindfulness here encourages that hope. Thanks.

[mdlbear]

You're very welcome. I like to think so, too.

[lisa-marli.livejournal.com]

Sounds productive. Even the crying. And it's perfectly normal to miss a parent, for the rest of your life even. Especially when you are as close as you were to your dad.

[mdlbear]

Yes, very productive.

I'm always a little surprised to find myself "perfectly normal" in some respect. It wasn't the missing that was unexpected part -- I do that all the time. It was the crying.