River: On Courage

[mdlbear]

This wasn't going to be my next River post--I wasn't even thinking about this subject--but it seems to be a good time for it. The quiet courage I've been seeing on my friends list, and elsewhere, recently is simply awe-inspiring, and I feel privileged to witness it.

Courage isn't a matter of going forward without fear, of facing down a dragon with a bright sword and a cheerful heart. That may be confidence, overconfidence, or stupidity, but it's not courage. Courage is a matter of going forward in spite of the fear. It's doing what you have to do in the moment, and worrying about the consequences when it's over. It's doing something instinctively, without thinking, and feeling slightly baffled when your friends tell you how brave you were.

Courage is holding a sick child and smiling at them. It's making it through another day at work while waiting for test results. It's writing a series of calm, objective updates for your friends while someone you love is in the hospital. It's telling your friends list you've made a stupid mistake, or telling the whole damned internet how much you love somebody. It's making that phone call you've been dreading. It may just be facing yourself in the mirror.

Folks, thank you for sharing. It makes this old bear happy and proud to know you.

Comments

[callibr8]

Courage is a matter of going forward in spite of the fear. It's doing what you have to do in the moment

This rings true for me, but doesn't quite for pocketnaomi. She says that true courage is when there's a(n easy) way out that one chooses not to take.

I think hers is a higher-standard definition of courage (she calls what you're describing, fortitude)... but I've been there, done that, on both fronts, various times in my life. And I usually like what I find on the other side (or, over the cliff) - a LOT.

[mdlbear]

One can argue it both ways.

There's always a way out, even if it's just curling into a ball and giving up. It may be as hard as going forward; the price may be higher. Certainly there's more courage involved if the way out is easier, and less if you do the right thing without thinking (and spend the next hour calming your nerves with a glass of gin when you realize how close you came).

You're right about the other side...

... and I really enjoyed our phone conversation this morning.

[filkferengi]

Sounds like she'd resonate well with Bujold; is she a Lois fan?