River: Nice while it lasted?

[mdlbear]

My recent string of happy days seems to have ended as abruptly as it began; no telling at this point whether it will resume after a brief setback, or where the real baseline is.

It happened, ironically, as I was thinking about joy, and realizing how little I understood the concept. Someone had mentioned a friend's "ability to reach out for joy" -- and I realized with something approaching shock that I not only lacked that ability, but apparently lacked the ability to recognize it in someone else.

At this point I'm not even certain I've ever felt what other people describe as joy, let alone been able to actively seek it out. If I have it was brief, unexpected, and totally out of my control.

At this point I'd settle for mild happiness.

The centipede's dilemma? Well, in any case my plan is to try to enjoy the weekend, which promises to be busy and happy, before trying to think or write about either my very real problems or this new-found, possibly imaginary one.

Comments

[mdlbear]

Thanks. My moods are certainly a lot more volatile lately; I'm still in very unfamiliar territory.

I don't think comedy will help -- most of what passes for comedy these days is actively painful to me. Instrumental music maybe; anything with words eats up too much attention.

Maybe I should write more poetry. Or software... Doing something creative usually does give me a bit of a boost.

It's a good day so far...