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[mdlbear]

I ran completely out of cope last night, about 11pm, in the process of getting Colleen into the bedroom. I think I'm a little better now, but probably still fragile. I lost it several times: gibbering, almost completely non-verbal in either direction, and occasionally sobbing silently and without actual tears. This is going to be harder than I expected. I haven't been that out of cope since one night when the Y.D. was a month or so old, sitting on the floor by her crib at some ungodly hour in the morning trying to wake up enough to pick her up and change her. Maybe not even then.

Taught my son-in-law to make fried matzoh this morning -- the Y.D. is home from school today because she can barely walk with her injured knee, and wanted comfort food.

Meta: note that I've switched tags from colleen-200812 to colleen-200901 to mark the fact that she's home from the hospital now.

I think maybe I'm ok now. OK enough to get through the day; that's all I can hope for at this point.

Comments

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

Empathy and hugs. This happens. (Note anagram of first word in previous sentence. Even more so with an ostomy bag.)

There's no need to be ashamed of running out of cope. Burdens like this are way beyond the ordinary, and you deserve respect and praise for the way you've handled it so far. I've lost it plenty of times since last April, when dunkelpig's travails began, and too many times it's been unfairly directed at the younger generation grown-but-in-residence, crankyinfrance and bensanaz. Forgive yourself, if you haven't already.

"Home from the hospital" is a Very Good Thing.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Plus anagram of third word in first sentence. Especially with ostomy bags.

Seconds (or thirds or fourths) on the hugs.

[mdlbear]

And the first word of the second sentence. Especially with ostomy bags.

ETA: it is perhaps a good indication of how little of my brain is actually functional that I've been racking what's left of it for an anagram for "empathy" for most of the day.

[mdlbear]

Hugs and many thanks!

Nothing to forgive; it just makes things that much harder.

"Home from the hospital" is a Very Good Thing Indeed.