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[mdlbear]

I ran completely out of cope last night, about 11pm, in the process of getting Colleen into the bedroom. I think I'm a little better now, but probably still fragile. I lost it several times: gibbering, almost completely non-verbal in either direction, and occasionally sobbing silently and without actual tears. This is going to be harder than I expected. I haven't been that out of cope since one night when the Y.D. was a month or so old, sitting on the floor by her crib at some ungodly hour in the morning trying to wake up enough to pick her up and change her. Maybe not even then.

Taught my son-in-law to make fried matzoh this morning -- the Y.D. is home from school today because she can barely walk with her injured knee, and wanted comfort food.

Meta: note that I've switched tags from colleen-200812 to colleen-200901 to mark the fact that she's home from the hospital now.

I think maybe I'm ok now. OK enough to get through the day; that's all I can hope for at this point.

Comments

[firecat]

[hugs] and agreeing with the comments about a support system for you too.

I don't know if it would work for you but I have seen people put lists in their LJs of tasks that need to be done, and friends agree to take on the tasks.

[mdlbear]

Hmm... Many of the friends who've offered don't read LJ, so we'll probably have to use more old-fashioned methods. Colleen's very good about lining up help via phone. I'm a lot less good hopeless at it -- not only at asking for help, but at figuring out what help I need to ask for. I've never had to, you see. It's a problem, but I don't even know where to start dealing with it.

[firecat]

You probably have some friends who are good at figuring out ways to help without needing to being told. I'm probably not really one of them.

General stuff that comes to mind, that someone might be able to do (leaving you with more energy to care for Colleen) -- shopping, cleaning, cooking, managing the garbage, helping with homework, sorting mail and dealing with bills, making phone calls.

[mdlbear]

*nod*

The kids already do the cleaning, most of the cooking, garbage and mail; I do the bills. Colleen does most of the phone calls, and the helping with homework -- I'm not home. One of Emmy's friends helps her with math. After Kat and Selkit leave I'll need more help; OTOH there won't be as many people in the house.