Well, yes, actually,...

[mdlbear]

... I am made of fail.

Yesterday I finally bothered to look at my bounced email at work, and found that mail to thestarport.org has been bouncing from my ISP with a "mailbox full" error for most of the last week.

Meaning I should have set up fetchmail a week ago when I first thought of it. Instead of being paralyzed all week, and finally doing it this morning after waking up at 4:30 and not being able to get back to sleep.

IDIOT Bear!

Yes, I know procrastination and paralysis are related to the depression, and are going to take a lot of retraining to get over. Idiot bear anyway.

Comments

[brmj.livejournal.com]

Don't be so hard on yourself. That level of procrastination is understandable, given your recent state of mind. For comparison, just this morning I finally got around to bloging about a con I attended in January, and I have no excuse whatsoever. I do, however, find it a bit surprising that you get so much email || have a mailbox with such a small capacity that you would run out of room that quickly.

[mdlbear]

It's a small ISP, and I get a huge amount of spam.

[lapislaz.livejournal.com]

Agreed. You may NOT call yourself a dumb bear.

Sick bear, perhaps. But you are NOT an idiot. You're smarter than the average bear, that's for certain.

[mdlbear]

But I've been doing stupid things for years.

[lapislaz.livejournal.com]

Argue for your limitations, and they shall be yours.

[mdlbear]

Good point.

[aerowolf.livejournal.com]

so? "doing stupid things" does not equate to "inherent stupidity".

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Everybody does stupid things sometimes. As far as I know, anyway.

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

My friend, you are many things but "stupid" is not one of them. There's a reason why "absent minded genius" is a stereotype, right? And don't we know a lot of those in Fandom? You're part of a tradition. Forgive yourself, because surely your friends forgive you.

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

You are ignoring the fact that you DID finally do it. Pat yourself on the back, and add it to the to-done list. If you're like me when depressed, you need the positive reinforcement more than the negative, because the negative feeds the depression.

GOOD bear! You didn't just lay in bed being depressed, you utilized that time in a positive fashion and also did something that has been hard to do lately.

[mdlbear]

I did, which is one reason why I have the to.done list now and am trying to keep it active.

Thanks.

[ocelotn.livejournal.com]

So it didn't happen when it might have in an optimal universe. Bummer. Hint for future optimization noted.
But you DID fix it. So hurray! Also, yay.

[firecat]

Aahz just resent two e-mail messages to you; let us know if you don't get them.

[mdlbear]

Got 'em. A bit late, I'm afraid, for coordinating visits. Next week?

[firecat]

We're out of town next week, but I hope we can set something up soon after.

[mdlbear]

That would be good. :)

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

You are most emphatically not "made of fail"! (I couldn't possibly do what you've described - I only barely understand what you're talking about.)

Right after I read this entry, before I could get a chance to respond, I discovered that I'd managed to neglect to file one very important legal paper, out of the dozens I've been having to deal with; it was supposed to have been dealt with within 30 days of the time I received it, and this was the 29th day! And I had to get it delivered via certified mail to six different places. Failure to complete this would have caused the entire case to collapse for procedural reasons, leading to consequences too horrible to contemplate. And why hadn't I filed this when it first arrived? I. Have. No. Fucking. Idea. (I have no diagnosed psychological or medical condition to impair my ability to get things done. I just plain blew it. "No excuse, Sir!")