River: notes from my walk

[mdlbear]

Today was only the second day in about a week that I actually had a chance to walk for as long as I like to at lunchtime. That was good.

I noticed an odd, or at least interesting, effect: I was walking at my usual pace up until the point where I started thinking about pulling out my phone and calling a friend. At that point I slowed down to my usual "depressed" pace. As soon as I put the phone away, I sped up again.

Making phone calls appears to be strongly associated with being, or becoming, depressed. To the extent that even thinking about making a call is depressing. Presumably it's a learned response, and presumably it's part of a feedback loop that reinforces the association.

I can keep poking at it, but I don't think I have the mental tools I need to analyze or to correct this kind of problem. I've been thinking about my phone phobia on and off for at least a month, and I seem to be no closer than ever to understanding it. Suggestions?

Comments

The suggestion

[capplor.livejournal.com]

is enjoy your walk and don't even remember you have a phone. You're certainly taking it with you, in case of an emergency on either end, but if walks help you, and phone calls depress you, don't mix the two.

Re: The suggestion

[mdlbear]

Phone calls often cheere me, if I can bring myself to make them and if they're answered.