River: end of an era

[mdlbear]

Colleen is coming home Friday!

I should be excited and happy. Instead, I'm worried, depressed, a few things I can't identify, and totally unmotivated. We're having the bedroom steam-cleaned tomorrow afternoon, and a pair of hospital beds installed tomorrow evening. I'm still not entirely packed, and the bed is still assembled.

I understand some of it. I have no idea how much care Colleen is going to need. I'm stressed because I'm almost certainly not going to be able to go to work tomorrow morning -- I'll need to clean and vacuum the bedroom floors. And so on.

Also, we've had that bed for around a quarter-century, if I remember correctly. I built it myself. Colleen grieved over chaoswolf leaving the house -- I appear to be grieving our old bed. The YD just took the mattress up to her room. I'll be sleeping on an air mattress tonight. Our lives have changed, over the last few months; I have no idea what the new "normal" will be like -- it's change, and unknown, and it scares me.

Whatever the reason, I have a great deal to do by tomorrow noon, and I'm not doing it. Instead, I'm sitting here wingeing into my posting client.

Not a happy bear.

Comments

[mdlbear]

Thanks. That's a good idea.

I usually get a couple of hours in the morning to myself, but it's not really enough; my walks and music have been losing out, especially when I'm working from home.

[septemberlilac.livejournal.com]

Excellent advice above. That recent lack of sufficient "self time" is undoubtedly having a major effect on your mental state right now. It's hard to cope with more stress when you're already feeling stretched too thin.