River: Distracted?

[mdlbear]

I'm feeling pretty seriously out of it right now. I shouldn't snap at my daughter in total confusion when she asks me to take my laundry out of the drier. I shouldn't scrape my car on a concrete pillar getting out of a parking spot, the way I did last night. I shouldn't be so distracted that I pay $1500 to Alhambra instead of to Amex.

I should be socializing more at OSCon, the way I did the last three or four years. I should be getting more done at work. And at home. I shouldn't let bills and paperwork pile up, the way I have been.

I should make more music. I should pay more attention to the people closest to me. The people I love. I should take better care of myself.

I'm stressed, and distressed, and distracted. Probably depressed, but I can't really tell -- I'm not feeling much of anything right now.

Comments

[septemberlilac.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wish I had something helpful to tell you - you say you're not feeling much but the frantic pain in your words comes off the screen in waves. Maybe...forgive yourself for being a mere mortal human being? You're dealing with so many things right now, some of them at crisis pitch, all of them important, and probably feeling like you have to run faster and faster just to keep from losing ground. But when it's too overwhelming, sometimes you have to temporarily let go of what you "should" do and just focus on what you *can* do. And you know all that, but sometimes it's hard to see the stars in the middle of a howling storm, so I thought it might bear repeating. *Hugs.*

[mdlbear]

Thanks. The imagery you used is wonderful, and helps as much as the words.

One problem is that what I *can* do rarely seems to be enough.