Ouch!

[mdlbear]

Did something unpleasant to my right knee during my walk this morning -- right at the farthest point, naturally. I walked back more slowly and it seemed to be OK, but it's hurting pretty badly now. One gin, three asprin, naproxen, and an Ace bandage later it's down to barely tolerable.

What could have been a rather successful day of shopping and errand-running ended up a total downer between a lovely huge roasting pan from Bed Bath and Beyond that proved to be too tall for our oven, and having to pay my astronomical cell phone bill (by credit card) before I was allowed to get an upgrade for the Y.D.'s phone. Yes, I'll try AT&T's customer service anyway. Tomorrow. If I can summon up the nerve and the cope. Most likely, though, my inertia and unwillingness to make a simple phone call will, once again, and up costing me hundreds of dollars.

Out of cope. Out of spoons. Maybe drugs and dinner will help. Maybe in an hour or so I'll be able to fix Colleen's TPN without screwing something up. Yesterday was marginal enough that I'm not too hopeful.

Yeah, I know, it's the depression talking. Say hello to the depression, everybody. I should shut up before it becomes even more obvious that I'm an idiot.

Comments

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Here, have a spoon.

Having spoken to you, I can conclusively state that you are not an idiot.

And hvideo keeps saying all the wise, sensible things I want to tell you. Remember that you won't be able to take care of anybody else if you don't take care of yourself, at least to some degree. And also remember how many friends you have who are more than willing to give you emotional and/or practical support.

[mdlbear]

It's an area where I really don't know _how_ to take care of myself. I just keep plodding along, totally out of my depth.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Make a list of things that make you feel better when you do them. When you get depleted, pick one thing from that list, and force yourself to do it. Tell everyone around you what you've picked, so they can urge to do it - getting started doing something for self-renewal is usually the hardest part. And make sure you get enough to eat (and the right things to eat!) and enough sleep.

And here's a userpic for you:

[mdlbear]

Thanks. I'll have to try that, even though I can't think of many right now, and most of what I can think of are difficult or impossible to do most of the time.

And of course it's hard to avoid the feeling that I need to be doing one of the many tasks that I'm avoiding because I don't like to do them.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

Come up with an equation - say, doing three tasks you don't like to do earns you one task that makes you feel better. Or doing stuff you don't enjoy for an hour earns you fifteen minutes of enjoyment. Write it down, make a sign, tell everyone around you... and then stick to it.