The Mandelbear's Musings

Ursine, as you might expect, is the language of bears. Or at least of mandelbears; I can't speak for the rest of the genus. Or maybe it's just this bear. In the (unlikely) event that "Understanding Ursine" turns into a series, this will serve as an introduction. The title has been somewhere on the bear's to-do list for several years -- this post from May, 2014 lists it among many proposed projects. It's well known that procrastination is a common ursine characteristic.

Reducing expectations: Much of the ursine vocabulary is involved with reducing the listener's expectations -- lack of self-confidence is another ursine characteristic. Notable in this category is "I'll try to remember", which is a common response to a non-urgent request made while the bear is doing something else. The meaning is, approximately, "I'm doing something else right now, and I might get engrossed in it again. When I reach a stopping point I hope I'll remember your request, but I might not."

Along the same lines, another common response to a request is "I'll try." It really doesn't matter what the request is or how trivial it is -- this is a default instant response that comes out before the bear has had time to think about what actions they actually have to take. It might be better to wait for a second or two, but the bear is afraid (with some justification) that the request will be forgotten by that time, or (with much less justification) fail to be accomplished.

Delaying interactions: Another large category serves to put off an interaction until the bear can actually pay attention to it. For a long time the bear has been using "Can't hear!", which is actually a worn-down form of the more accurate but longer "I'm not where I can hear you right now; I'll be out in a minute." Unfortunately, humans usually take "can't hear" as a request to speak louder. Would "later" or "busy" work better? "Busy!" has been used in the past.

"Working!" and "Working on it!" are other responses in this category. In both there is the implication that further conversation at this time would distract the bear from something it's doing. "Working on it" further implies that it's doing something you requested -- or thinks you're about to request.

Indications of overload: On rare occasions, the bear will say "Please..." in a pleading tone; this indicates that the bear is under extreme stress and is about to go completely non-verbal. A warding-off gesture, palm outward, usually means that either this has already happened, or that the bear is on the phone.

A four-letter interjection repeated at intervals of roughly a second is usually an indication that the bear is involved in a task, such as cleaning the floor or groping under the sink for a cut-off valve, that is causing them physical pain (more rarely, mental distress) but nevertheless has to be done.

Sorry: Some concepts don't translate well, and we're still unsure exactly what "Sorry" means. It may have originated with any of a number of phrases that start out "I'm sorry, ..." but now appears to be mostly an indication that something is going wrong and the bear is too overloaded to say anything else. There is also the implication that the bear is taking the blame for whatever is going wrong; that usually means that the bear's self-esteem is even lower than usual.